Smug
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Post by Smug on Jun 11, 2015 8:28:39 GMT
SHROOMS STRIKE AGAIN! CUE THE FEELS
Cinnema hadn't moved all night from the spot she'd curled herself in, wallowing in her thoughts for a while before she fell to a silent sleep. It was dreamless, empty, but the worst thing was that she knew that. Honestly she would have preferred the horror dreams of her loved ones being torn apart by the bear, or the awful helpless feelings at not being able to help. YEAH that would be better. Come morning the sunlight hit her fur but she chose to not move for a while until the constant contact was annoying her. Fuck you sunlight, go away. I don't have time for you. Slowly she uncurled, the unhappy protest of her joins from not moving out of her position for some hours. Owowow. That smarted something awful. Using front legs to drag herself out of her hiding place, she groaned with effort and stood, shaking herself out. The world looked pretty blank from this perspective of hers. And it was painful considering the effort of getting back up. Hnng. Shoulders rolled as she dropped her upper body to the floor, back legs planted still, to stretch her back. Oooh god that was something. Mm feeling. It was almost unimportant. Eugh. Blank look around the area as she pulled herself up, tongue flicking out to wet her nose.
Smug had been avoiding the pack, yet again. Why didn't she just leave huh? Well... she knew the reasons. All she had known was pain and blood and fighting until Drak had come along and changed her life. This was her family, and no matter how hard it could be to be there, she doubted she could ever leave them permanently. Vechnyy was her home, unless she was unwanted. There was no point staying if no one wanted her there. Though the matters of yesterday seemed to prove that she had indeed been wanted. Well... her body at least? Confusion swirled around in her jumbled mind once more. That and anger. Lip curled once more and eyes flashed as their words came back to her. She was not an object to be claimed and mastered. That was the most hurtful thing someone could do to her given her past. Humans had been cruel, but for some reason... it had hurt so much more coming from those she had considered... friends? Quiet whine came forth before eyes darted around to make sure no one was around to hear it. She chided herself from being so petty, but the woman had a hard time stopping the aching in her chest. Why did people allow feelings in again? She had been so much better off when she had locked them away deep inside her. But no. Others had to keep coming in and dredging them all out, no matter the damage to her. Sigh. Shake of the head was given to clear the childish thoughts from her mind before shoulders were squared and head raised while paws brought her into the courtyard. Woman couldn't avoid them all forever. Olive gaze found Cinn and she crossed the empty courtyard to approach the woman. Something seemed different about the place. She had heard Nida's cries and the distinct scent of newborns could be smelled. Smug had stayed away from the whole fiasco after seeing Vad present. She had been in no mood to be near him again. Instead she had opted to check the territory and run the borders in case any intruders were bold enough to enter while the babies were being born. Dip of the chin was given in greeting to the Tsarita but face remained neutral, hiding her emotions behind a carefully constructed mask yet again.
Vadimir returned home, hobbling gait evidence of just how badly he'd strained his healing injuries. Should think ahead before you just act, numbnuts. No trace of the puppies he'd taken from Zod and Nida were present. Not even blood on his face. Yet they were nowhere to be seen. Eyes kept ahead, shoulders firm but shaking. He had been smart enough to rest and allow himself to recuperate, though the trek home still didn't agree with his body, which continually sent him pangs of discomfort to make every pawstep a hassle. Stubborn as ever, Vadimir brushed it off and waded through the thick, clogging air of hesitance that separated him from the courtyard. It wasn't easy coming back after everything that had happened. But he knew he couldn't leave. Not with all that had gone down. Cinn was the first form of life he detected, watching her rise and welcome the new day. Then Smug, who looked as she often did. Lax and uncaring for the world at large. Had she gotten over the whole incident, or was she still mad? Vad opted to assume the latter, but truth was he hadn't a clue. So he approached on steadied steps, before picking a spot a little ways from them both. Depending on how they responded to his presence, Vad's go-to action would be to ease onto his stomach, forepaws folded. But, unpredictable as Vechnyy was... he couldn't be sure he'd be granted such casual slack.
Cinnema finished her stretching and plopped her butt to the ground, shifting shoulders as she settled. Bleh. Eyes stared around, bored. Till others started to approach, causing ears to perk and eyes to focus but still with that blank look. Smug was focused on first, but it seemed she was just content to just nod at her. Wow geez okay, she didn't want to talk to her either. Quite honestly she wasn't sure how to feel about that one yet, considering. She didn't know her but she had given her some sass yesterday. Hmph. So she switched to look at Vad, and the feelings popped up.. Below the surface, swimming, boiling, but she showed nothing. They didn't hardly reach her. She simply watched both approach before going over to Vad and laying down beside where he was. With a huff of air and not much else, just casually flopping head down on his paws like yo. Sup. And not a thought about it, just, yep. Okay. Depressed Cin is depressed.
Smug. Curiosity popped the bubble she'd cast around her emotions as Cinn returned her greeting blankly. Had Smug upset her? That was her standard greeting to anyone so she didn't see what. Ohh.. maybe yesterday? She had ignored the Tsar and Tsarita's command and gone after Monro instead of helping the doped woman to the den. Maybe that was the source. Well, shit. A sigh was suppressed as the pale queen moved off, head turning opposite way to stare at the dirt. Could things be more awkward? It was then that Vad's scent met her nostrils and whole body tensed up. Yep... yep it could. Woman froze, head away, as she attempted to reign in her rushing emotions. Why was it so hard to stay neutral nowadays. When she had managed to get a sizeable grip on them, stuffing them behind a cracked mask, the earthen-toned woman finally turned her gaze to the two. Anger bubbled just below the surface, flickering in her eyes as they settled on the pale bastard. Well now... Smug tried to hold on to the anger since she knew what would follow if she didn't, but her attempts only lasted a short while before hurt flashed across scarred visage and eyes dropped to the dirt at her paws in order to try and cover up her slip. Well this sucked. Maybe she should leave... but she couldn't hide from him or her feelings forever. Doing so would only cause further problems. Instead of moving away or towards them, own rump would slowly lower to the ground while glance was given to them once more.
Vadimir watched both women with hooded lids. Shit could go down in no time flat, and that knowledge made it difficult to fully relax. The idea of fighting them wasn't even the issue. How many brawls had he been in? Pshaw! No, that's not what had him on edge. It was that this type of fighting, wasn't solely with teeth and claws. No, it was with words, feelings... UGH. Even with the resolution made the night prior, Vadimir was in no mood to try and splurge his heart out to people. It was exhausting work, and he'd much rather just... work on healing. Get the full measure of his strength back. Cinn plopping, pretty much in his lap. Earned an odd, dubious stare. What... what?! And then he had the misfortune to look up. What he saw made his eye twitch and his stomach to curdle. Smug was looking at him as if she were trying to make him explode, solely with the force of her gaze. He frowned, brow furrowing as he straightened. He'd uphold their eye contact, hers hot and pained and his audacious and challenging. Just what had he done wrong?! "Zo... who vantz to spill zeir guts first?" Because, let's face it. He wasn't getting any quiet time, he wasn't going to be allowed to relax, chill, then work on getting his body to tip top shape. There were feelings afoot, and those ALWAYS took precedence! Cinn's depression and anxiety was thick enough to slice with a butter knife, and Smug was a thin pane of glass holding back a thundering deluge of passionate angst and hurt. Casual talk was an impossibility, so fuck it! LET'S BE SANTA! "Ve are a pack, zo ve zould... be able to communicate vith eachozer, vithout rezervationz..." Gag retch hack. You can do this Vad, just take deep breaths, and don't barf all over Cinn. She won't like half digested baby on her face, no.... "Cinn, vhy... vhy don't you go first." He'd say, only if no one had elected to do so beforehand. And if both ladies continued to show reluctance. Vadimir was liable to lose his shit on the both of them. He can acknowledge that he has feels, sure. But that didn't stop him from being Vadimir. And Vadimir didn--SUDDENLY IT BEGAN TO RAIN LIKE LET'S MAKE THIS EVEN MORE DRAMATIC HURR.
Cortés's body burned. His the pain from his side almost excruciating. How he got this wound? He couldn't exactly remember. The last thing he remembered was chasing down an animal, hoping to bring it back for his family. His trek looking for Drak was at a loss as per usual. Wherever the man had gone, he was certainly making it harder for Cort to find him. Another failure, he figured a good hunt would soften the blow for both Cin, and Vad. Still, it seemed his hunting needed some work. He was a good fighter, but a hunter he was not. So while he chased a rather nice sized cervidae across the river, his footing faltered, and he traveled with the current down stream. He struggled to find some sort of footing, body burning with a sense of panic and frustration. But alas, there was nothing he could do until he came upon shallow waters. He traveled for a good mile, his body occasionally being dragged under by the waves and current, his whole being slamming against rocks and deadwood trees. At one point, a jagged rock pierced into his side, ripping against his flesh. It almost skewered him alive, but fortunately, the rip wasn't that deep. However blood seeped out, leaving the water to turn a deep ruby. Eventually, he was tossed onto the river's edge near the south, having passed his home a mile or so back. However he couldn't move. He stayed there, doing nothing but breathing for a whole evening. His body laboring to simply stay conscious. It took a day or two for him to rein in his consciousness, eating nothing but insects and whatever could crawl into his mouth. He was starving.. Growing weaker by the days, he finally forced himself, crawling and whimpering all at the same time. He needed to go home. He needed to... He shakily stood his body wobbling due to the disorientating trip he managed to survive. His head pounded, and he felt like he was going to throw up, but he moved still. It took nearly a day to get even close enough to be considered on the territory, and by then it seemed earth itself wept at what it saw. Cortes, the once proud warrior, bested by a damned river. A large sickle shaped gash rested on his side, multiple nicks along his shoulder and hip were also seen, adding to his Frankenstein's the 'creature' look. He collapsed then, reaching beyond the territory, but not enough to be seen. As the rain pelted upon his scarred flesh, he weakly barked out, head finally thudding unto the ground.
Zodiak woke within the den, feeling as if he'd had a really horrible nightmare. However, upon glance to his side to see mate and children nestled together, reality set in and his heart sank. Slowly and carefully he'd rise, pain returning to his side in a dull ache. He winced, turning to gaze upon new life. Nose would pry among them, taking in their scents and tilting head at the many squeals and grunts made by them. The warmth then built again, making him feel joy in the fact he got to keep them. These four pups would be his life; that and nida. He'd ensure their survival and do whatever he had to. Once bonding time was over, he'd shift away to let nida enjoy motherhood. Slowly he padded from the den, gaze blinking as water pelted his face. The perfect gloomy day to follow the horrible night. He sighed, glancing for a moment to the others without a word. He'd slowly pace away from the den, head hung low before quiet sound echoed from the borders. Ears perked and head lifted before head twisted to the others, "Vad!" he barked, tail lifting to alerted posture "Did you hear that?" maybe he was crazy and hearing things but he swore he heard something. Either way he'd start to move off in the direction of the sound until frame disappeared into the woods. He hoped vad would follow him, he wanted to return to normalcy with pack life and not linger on the loss of children he had no control over. Time to get back to work. Deeper into the woods he pressed, nose trailing high and low in search of anything. Blood, fresh blood. It filled his nose like a warning and he darted in the direction only to freeze at the sight of cort among the watered earth. "CORT!!" he barked, rushing to the dog with a whine. "Cort cort cort" nose would nudge into his neck fur, frame frantically dancing over his form. A quick glance would alert him to the injury and if vad had not accompanied him, muzzle would point upwards to release loud, shrill howl. One of trouble and summoning for help. With a growl he'd turn back to cort, licking gingerly at the wound to try and get it to stop bleeding while he waited for assistance.
Cinnema hardly paid enough attention to see any emotions that would flick across Smug's face, laid as she was on Vad. Hi bby how you doin'? JK she didn't give a shit. IMMA LAY HERE THX. Except he seemed to not like allowing that, and had to go and make them dredge up whatever was going on in their minds and SHARE IT with the others. What was this, support group? What the fuck? She didn't want to do this. Let alone go first. Damn u Vad. What happened to not caring and shit, yes go back to that because she didn't want to share -sob-. Her head lifted but she oh so casually scooched closer to the male, if that was at all possible. Hohum. What was she thinking? Face made a show of concentration as she thought as to what there was wrong with her. She had quite honestly shut down a little last night and was now attempting to sort through emotions buried below the surface and seemingly blocked. As the rain started to fall she twitched, flicking ears, and snapped at a few drops. WTF go away. Cinnema huffed at the sky, as if that was the worst of her problems. Irritation, depression, uselessness, loneliness. Those were the first feelings she identified. "What am I supposed to share?" she questioned, blinking a few times. Kind of confused as to the point of whatever this exercise was.. "I can't.. what am I supposed to.." She shook her head, began shaking. Less so than she would if she were just standing on her own, for being near Vad did help. Except, like always, there were other plans. Head snapped to the sound of exclamation, shaking off a bit of rain before she detached herself from the Tsar's side and nose went to sniffing. Cort? What? Even with feelings dredging her down-- she was struggling to get back.. Fuck. Sure, Drakov wasn't around..but.. There were others.. Did they need her? Did Cort need her help? Did she still have a purpose here? But, really, what point was there..if the happiness they had was stuffed by this shit happening every time.. Wow she was in a hole. Cinnema still figured.. This was one thing she could do. And Vad definitely couldn't considering how fucked up he was. Stupid idea to do what he did yesterday, really. Just about jumping over Vad she picked up the pace and went to find out what was up, her nose wrinkling at the smell of blood. Oh hell. She would sniff along his side along with Zod, who still deserved a lil slapping after biting her nose, but she was focused on this. Alright who's gonna carry him?
Smug watched the bastard frown in confusion. Sigh. Stupid males. She hadn't really made it clear though, since no one really knew about her past or how she felt on that matter. She couldn't meet his gaze for long though before eyes shifted to her paws. A small 'tft' sound escaped her at his question. Since when did he care? And that seemed to be a more private conversation anyways. No use blowing up in front of Cin... especially when she had her own shit, probably much more serious, to deal with. Eyes went to Cinn at his suggestion before turning back to him. "Why don't you?" She challenged back. Gaze flicked back to Cin and the woman felt bad for worrying over her own petty problems when it was obvious that there were so many bigger ones out there to deal with. Raindrops splattered her nose and head upturned to meet the sky, closing eyes. It felt good. Like washing away the pain and guilt and anger. Attention was turned to Zod as he called for them as she had not heard the bark from Cort, too wrapped up in her own mind and too far away over the rain. As the two rushed off and if Vad had lingered behind, her gaze would shift to him, if not she would speak to the empty air once again alone. "I would talk... but not so openly. And only if you talked in return." There was no way she would bare herself to anyone without getting anything in return as confirmation or sign of faith or whatever. That much had been clear when she had claimed Vad after he had done the deed to her. If Vad had stayed, she would raise and approach him gingerly, avoiding eye contact, to sit next to him and await the others' return. If he had left, she would trot to the edge of the courtyard then to stand watch for their return, following only if she was needed.
Vadimir "I don't know... vot's been botherink you, vorryink you. Votever!" Having Cinn snuggle in closer to him only made him more confused. What was he supposed to do... he'd nip at her ear, blink, then return to watch both women expectantly. THERE. COMFORT. BAM. Of course he didn't want to go first. He was pushing them to do something he wasn't even sure he could pull off! Cinn started, which earned her his individed attention. Up until the coarse bark was released, and Zod rushed to the situation. Vad struggled to get up cause, oops deres a woman on me. But Cinn was just as quick to the starting line as Zod, and soon they were both rocketing away to see to the problem. Vad turned to follow, but would pause and glance toward Smug. Her words came, and for a while he said nothing. Then; "I vill. Now come." And with that he'd lope after Zod and Cinn's retreating figures as they maneuvered themselves between brush and foliage. He arrived in time to see the duo fretting over Cort's sprawled physique, and Vad felt a spark of trepidation latch onto his lungs, making it difficult to breath. How the hell had this happened?! His first thought was of the bear. But they'd already dealt with it! So how could this have happened? "Everyvone get hold of him. Ve need to get him back to ze den." There were pups inside, but TOO DAMN BAD someone else was now injured. Vad would grab hold of whatever patch of loose, uninjured piece of skin he could find. Scruff, shoulder blades, armpit. And would await for everyone else to take a chunk of Cort, before he'd begin dragging/partially carrying the dog back home. Back legs and lower back flared and caused him to grit his teeth, but he would breath heavily through widened nostrils, stamping the pain down as one might a campfire. Nope, can't focus on that now. Cort needs you.
Cortés couldn't even figure out who was what. his vision blurred because of the pounding rain, so all he saw was shapes and shadows. He growled out, lips lifting upward in a silent snarl. He thrashed, trying to get away from the shadow people. Was this his end? Was he actually already dead, waiting in hell for the grim reaper? No. Voices invaded his ear nubs, and he halted his squirms. When he felt the tentative lick upon his wound though, he let loose a whine, a pathetic sound that usually was not associated with Cort. Though when he felt the bites on his body, albeit ones to help drag him home, he thrashed and snapped absently at whatever he could find. His body convulsed, shuddering as he felt a burning sensation along his side, wounds opening up if they scabbed over. Fresh blood pooled, and painted the ground as he was moved from point A, to point B. He couldn't speak, only groan as he fought to stay awake.
Zodiak was trying his best to keep it together. First his pups and now cort? Sure at one point he'd sent glares to pierce the bastards heart but as of late there was more tenderness felt toward the dog. Gaze would flick to cin, then approaching vad. He wasn't sure what happened to cort but vads words snapped him out of it and drew him to action. They had to get him back home and out of danger, too many things could go wrong out here... especially with the rest of them still recovering from the bear attack. Watching vad grab a hold of cort, zod would follow suit and do the same, locking jaws around the upper part of one of his forelimbs to backward/side pull him toward the den with the others. Oh it hurt like a bitch, this was nothing compared to carrying around large sticks. His ribs were on FIRE and he struggled to get decent breaths in between tugs. Corts jaws came flying towards him and tooth was felt against his cheek. He'd whine into the leg he carried but kept on, struggling more and more as he went. He couldn't do this, he felt dizzy, this was too much... no! Heavy intake of breath through his nose and he kept tugging, fighting against every inch of his self that wanted to collapse right along with cortes.
Cinnema flicked an ear and curled her lip as the male alpha chose to follow her. Hell, he hadn't had enough yet? She growled at him softly, realizing that he really shouldn't be doing anything even through her fog she was in. But there was something to focus on, an injured pack member.. Only little fleeting thoughts controlled her processes, body flinching back when Cort whimpered and thrashed. But quickly she moved to assist, especially considering that neither of the males really should be helping all that much. Quite carefully she aimed to wrestle herself under his backside, providing support there and taking pressure off the other two. She was more healed than they were, anyway. So what did it matter? Obviously little thought went into the process even though he was considerably heavy for her to carry. NOPE she was looking out for the others. (Probably Smug was assisting her though.) Made the way back to the den to deposit him, and by that point tongue was lolled out to pant and assist with her breath. That would've been easier if he hadn't been squirming like a mad man, but whatever. With him deposited to rest she slipped a few steps away, to look at him with muted concern. What in the world had happened? Stress and everything creeping up on her just looking at him, and unease was slowly infecting the woman. Everyone was getting hurt and it seemed she couldn't do anything about it. Just more to think about. SIGH.
Smug helped them get Cort to the den then went on a short hunt / walk to get away.
Vadimir would drop Cort the moment the male was within safety distance from the den. He wasn't even going to bother looking at his wounds. He could guess what they looked like. "Smug, go to ze bear und get zomezink for him to eat." Because the chances of him being starving were PRETTY DAMN HIGH. Then he'd look to Zod, who had exhausted himself in the effort. Vadimir gave a light brush to his shoulder with his own, trying to nudge him in the direction of the den. "Go be vith zem. You've done your duty." It was easier to do things when he wasn't constantly thinking about DERN EMOTIONS. Why couldn't it always be like that? Speaking of rollercoasters. Eyes flashed and he looked to Cinn. She looked as empty and hurt as before. With a sigh he departed, arriving back shortly after with two shrooms in his maw. He'd drop them at her feet with a shrug. "Zo, look... maybe talkink az ve are izn't going to vork." Cause let's face it. NONE of them were intuned, or at all cognizant. Of how feelings worked. So... maybe they needed to be drugged out of their wits, to actually be fully open?? "You... ve don't HAVE to do zis," Good lord knows, he would have come up with any reason under the sun not to. "But if ve don't, zis vill only get vorze. Und Vechnyy cannot azzume it'z duty overall if we're too buzy fightink enemiez vithin ourzelves." He'd begun to understand this last night. Feeling remorse to eating one of his most favorite foods ever was a pretty damn huge wake-up call. "Zo, really. I lied. You have to do zis." He'd say flatly, nudging the shrooms. Just tasting them in his mouth had given him a slight buzz. "Ve take zem at ze zame time, und votever happenz... juzt, let it out, I guezz. Or votever ze fuck. Ready?" He'd grasp one of the shrooms, holding it in his mouth as he waited for Cinn to do the same. He wasn't doing this alone, damnit!! And if she complied, he'd snap up the shroom with three swift bites. LET THE GUSHING SESSION. Begin.
Cinnema did in fact look lost and empty as she looked at the others. Ears flicked back and forth, still confused. Until Vad departed, and she moved to follow out of sheer habit. Alphas stick together rite? Only for him to pop right up where he'd disappeared. Oh oops-- paws shuffled to stop before she bumped into him. And he was bringing some mushrooms with? Hey, those were the ones Monro had brought back for him when she'd been loopy as fuck. HMM.. Head tilted as she listened to his words with still blank look at him, though she nodded a little. Sadness clouding in her features. Hey, they may as well try it..He had good points as to why they should, anyways. At least he was doing it with her! So, she complied with hardly any thought and swallowed one of the shrooms. Not as.. tasty as she'd thought it would be? PFFT. A few moments later, "So, how long does it take unti--" oooh she was seeing colors. Pretty.. She swayed a little bit just looking at them.
Vadimir blinked rapidly as things began to distort, confuse, and jumble. Oh god was this a good idea...? WELP TOO LATE NOW! "Z-zo... feelinks..." He'd mutter, though face would morph into a goofy grin. Colors indeed... and Cinn was awash in rainbow. Wow. Had this stuff gotten stronger? He didn't recall it being this effective... but of course. He didn't recall much if anything after ingesting it. He breathed, shaking his head quickly to try and keep some form of lucidity. How were they supposed to talk about feelings, if he was too doped to remember what they were?! Maybe if he just started talking... yeah that sounded good. "Vvvvmffhngjre." Oh god. He closed his eyes, trying to cease the swaying. "V-v-vechnyy iz important to me. Y-you all are..." Fuck, what had he been wanting to say?? WHAT HAD HE WANTED TO SAY AUGH. "YOUR TURN." Sense of volume lost, Vad stood wobbling to and fro as he stared at Cinn intently... only... she wasn't Cinn anymore. Eyes bulged, jaw dropped. COULD IT BE???
Cinnema. It was FAR too late for them to undo this. HAHAHA. She was just amazed by the transformation the world took on, unable to really comprehend it in drugged up mind. It completely washed away the cloud of depression she'd found herself in. Instead she was looking at Vad and swaying, while everything was swirling around. What was he saying? Oh, yeah, feels? She took haulting steps toward him as he made his jumbled confession, stumbling once before seeming confused and stopping. He was a rainbow. She giggled. BUT NO, SERIOUS TIME. A lump of emotion seemed to form in her throat as she somehow realized this. Her turn? She blinked several times. Everything was moving! "V-Vad.. I.." Almost starting to blubber as she talked. She was 10x more emotional now. "V-Vechnyy is a-all I ha-ave.. And D-Drako-ov.." She hiccuped, body starting to shake and she fell to a sit. HERE COME THE TEARS ALREADY. As if seeing wasn't hard enough. Surprisingly she could still speak. "All I-I want..i-i-is to he-elp him, l-love hi-im.. But he's g-go-one.." Fucking bawling, aren't ya Cin. Gawd. High pitched squeal-like whine that was broken with her trying to breathe made its way almost continuously from her throat, ears pinned to her head. Eyes blinking furiously to clear them, only.. Vad was..gone and, there.. W-what? Jaw hung open in shock and amazement, and utter grief. But, no, she believed.. He was back??
Vadimir's tight throat was made all the more worse with a rapidly drying mouth. What was going on, what had happened?! Where did Cinn go and why was.... why was Drak suddenly here?! How could he be?! Cin's words didn't belong to him at all, but they incensed him with a growing ache in his chest. High emotional distress reached him, and he buckled, before flying into Cinn-Drak and aiming to stuff his face into his faux brother's chest. "I'm zorry..." He mewled. HOLY SHAT HE MEWLED. "I'm zorry!" He'd repeat, withdrawing from Cinn-Drak's personal bubble. "I didn't vant to leave, brat. I didn't vant to." Voice was broken, throaty and thick. "I tried zo hard to come back to you. I vanted to!" How long had he waited to say these things, to vent how he truly felt? Damn. It'd almost been a whole year. "Everyzink I've done up until now. Even before. Vaz for you. All for you! I juzt... I juzt vanted you to be proud of me... t-to... to love me. Brat, pleaze." Anguished urgency filled vocals, and Vadimir would inch closer, posture defensive submissive, ears and tail tucked, pleading grin on his snout. "Pleaze... I don't. I can't live vithout you. I did it vonce, und every day vaz hell. Every day vaz torture. I could take vat our ownerz did to uz. Becauze I had you. Pleaze don't go avay again... I can't endure zis anymore. I can't! I lozt you vonce und it vaz death upon me.... if I loze you again... I can't do zis on mine own. It's zo hard, brat... it's zo..." Sobbing overtook him then, pressing face into Cinn-Drak's fluff. He didn't care if there would be retribution for hos evident weakness, for his honesty. He just wanted love, security. He'd lived without it for so long. He always told himself to be strong, to be confident. But what happened when everything you lived for... was no longer there? What did you do, when the sole driving force in your life. Was gone? Vad had found meaning outside of Drak, in the form of Vechnyy. But like Cinn, it all originated from him. and without him, he couldn't.... "I love you, pleaze... pleaze don't leave me..." He would continue to repeat such, throat constricted and chest heaving until he was gasping for air. THESE SHROOMS WERE A BAD IDEA.
Cinnema had no idea..what was happening?! Whine had paused when she'd discovered that somehow Vad was gone and his brother in his place.. His beloved brother that she was helpless without. Ears pressed forward as she stared in disbelief, all teary still, before they soon flicked back and she was moving just as eagerly as he was toward him. His muzzle touched her fur, and she was just shaking and sobbing and whining. It was all too much for her, even though some rational part of her brain registered that it was Vad's voice coming out of this body she was seeing. Sat upon her butt so as to not fall over from everything still continuing to spin, she reached up with forepaws to wrap around Vad-Drak's neck and pull him close, head rubbing all over. Only fueled by the fact he was saying such nice things like he wanted to come back, for her, all for her, it was wonderful. If only she had any sort of idea. Or reasoned it out that what he was saying was something toward his brother and not BUT SHE DIDN'T. She was sobbing and whining and jaws took to snapping at the fluff on the side of his face, desperately, needing the mind's created Drak near to her. She literally started talking over him, not realizing. The words were not for her. It all just started flowing and she couldn't shut up long enough or stop shaking or anything. "I delt without you all those years, a-and it was hell. I was lost until I found you again.. I hated that, I hated being apart, and..even though it was different with you back again.. I always cared. I always wanted you back..." They were likely both a mess of sobbing and touching each other. Both thinking the other was Drak and desperately clinging to the emotions that came up with that. DAMN SHROOMS. NEVER AGAIN. Not that she'd likely remember this. She was smaller than Vad so it was liable to affect her more. As he pressed himself into her she grasped further with her paws, desperately, jaws finding his face again and for a second teeth were harsh upon his skin but then kind. Licks applying themselves to Vad-Drak's face feverishly, high pitched whining still continuing along with the sobbing. It was all so much, too much. She couldn't deal with it. "I won't, I will never leave you.. Just don't- don't leave me, not again, o-okay?" Her parents and siblings could leave all they want, but not him, never him. She wouldn't be able to leave him again. Woman hiccuped again. "I love you, only you.." NICE JOB WITH FEELS TIME.
Vadimir's vision was fucked, so he just closed his eyes, and let it all happen. What was sight anyway, when what he really wanted was the sensation? Cinn-Drak's voice was so caring, tender, doting. How he could be conned into thinking it was him. Truly was a testament to how fucking strong those fungi were. "No, no, no, no, no." He'd whine out, pitch downright unholy. THIS WAS NOT VADIMIR. "Never again... I'm here now, I'm here... I promize." Did... did that mean Drak forgave him? Did that mean they could fully, truly start over? Cinn-Drak's increasing need for proximity made Vadimir lose whatever inhibitions he had left in reserve. His brother had told him he loved him... words he'd ached to hear since first being torn from his side. "I love you too, I do. All of you. Zere iz nozink I don't adore about you!" Cinn-Drak's shifting form led to Vadimir likewise enveloping her in his arms, aiming to push her down and apply as many kisses to her chops as possible. a little easy, eh? Nope brain still didn't realize. Fuq. Vad would loom over Cinn-Drak, body radiating both adoration and protectiveness. He didn't know what had taken Drak away. But he wasn't about to let it happen again. Never again. Pauses between kisses would see large brutish head running the length of Cinn-Drak's neck and chest, inhaling deeplyto find further comfort in her scent.... STILL NO REALIZATION BRUH?? God forbid anyone saw... Vad might indeed just die upon revelation. But for now all he saw was his beloved sibling. All he felt was the clean, much needed release of tension, anxiety, stress. In an odd way, the shrooms had done exactly as he'd hoped they would. Release them from their guarded, standoffish clad, and forego the walls and barriers in preference for open communication. It just... didn't happen how he'd intended it to. OOPS??
Cinnema. The power of the shrooms. Was apparently too powerful for her. She felt so loved, so desperate, but when her craving for no space between them was satisfied she was oh so fucking happy. Not even a moment of suspecting this wasn't Drakov, no clarity. Entered her mind. The scent even was warped so thoroughly in her mind that not a hint was given. His promises of never leaving, never forsaking her.. Was a drug in of itself to her ears. She was in total ecstasy even while she was still absolutely sobbing over him 'reappearing.' And the further proclamation of love had her squirming, jaws parting to let out what was a squeal of bliss. HE LOVED HER TOO! HE SAID IT. HOLY SHIT. Even as she was wiggling and pushed back by Vad-Drak while in his loving embrace, jaws still wide and near his face when he was licking her and she was licking him back. Poor judgment on the positioning of where their jaws were, and slobber collided. Not that it mattered to her at all, what was this compared to them having sex? NAAH. She was loved and adored and it was quite frankly turning her on now, the intense need for him just overwhelming. All she wanted was to be loved, and now she finally was, finally was around him again, in her shroom-clouded mind and it was heaven on earth.
Vadimir couldn't remember a time he had ever been this happy. You would think their childhood days would be a dead ringer, but no. Back then, he'd always had what he wanted. But the humility that came with regaining his most cherished person, his most adored individual. Made a moment such as this all the sweeter. And never in his wildest dreams, would he think that Drak would hold him so tightly, so fervently. Sure, they were more open in affection with each other than anyone else, but. Even they were still in the flow of being hardcore. Something this soft, this gentle... it filled a desperate need within that, until now. He never even knew existed. That young, forever ago self that wished for some form of normalcy, of the love and doting that regular canine's displayed so easily, but always seemed beyond his grasp. And when his and Cinn-Drak's tongue collided, a robust shiver would elevate the passion until Vad was a mere shell of his former self. "I need you..." He'd whine, both submissive and yet lust-driven. "I need you like nozink elze..." Teeth would search to find purchase on Cinn-Drak's neck, the bite so gentle, it could barely qualify as a lovebite. "My brat... my love..." Okay, yep. Completely over the moon and past the stars. He was acting like a lovesick popstar... and, more frightening than anything. IT KINDA LOOKED NATURAL?! Not as natural as his usual self, mind. But... holy crap split personality was so plausible. Thank god it was only the influence of shrooms that did it. Welp, he'd gotten his wish. He didn't feel bad anymore! Vadimir in Drak's clothing would proceed to align himself with his brother. Truly, he didn't care who poked who. But right then Cinn-Drak was already below, so... BADDA BING BADDA BOOP! And if he was allowed to humpy that rumpty. By george. Nothing like any of his previous love-making. Slow, genteel, sweet as cotton-candy. There wouldn't be an inch on Cinn-Drak's upper anatomy that didn't receive loving kisses, doting nuzzles, and sweet nothings whispered in regular intervals into her ear. Was this what unbridled love truly felt like? Was this really what he'd been running from all this time? Stupid... he'd been so stupid. This was all he'd ever wanted. And now he had it. And he couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't. Ever let it go.
Smug had left when they had managed to drag and push the brute of a male back to the den to allow him to heal. She had to clear her head and think straight. Vad had told her he would talk to her... what did that mean? Why did it tug at her chest and ease the aching hurt there a little? She almost wanted to forgive him... but she wouldn't until they actually did so. She would make him understand why it had hurt and pray that he wouldn't act so callously around her with that subject again. If he showed remorse or something, then she would forgive him. Now she trotted back to the courtyard with 3 rabbits and 2 crows stuffed in her maw and dangling from her ivories. The damned birds had managed to leave some superficial scratches on her maw and one almost touching her eye socket. That had been a close call, but she needed to take her frustration out on something. That eye was slightly squinting while she loped. Breaking the treeline and reaching the courtyard, eyes easily found Cinn and... VAD?! in a sensual embrace. Her kills tumbled from her maw and hit the dirt as both eyes and lips widened in surprise. Whaaaat? This week just couldn't get any worse huh? She wanted to rage out and attack something or just yell until her voice rasped and lungs hurt. Then at least she would have an explanation as to why her chest ached at the sight. Instead of doing all that, a low whine was what came forth and brow furrowed and eyes shut to block them out. Why was she feeling like this? Why did it matter? Head lowered while teeth gathered up the limp bodies once more. Paws hesitantly carried her forward and she went to deposit the food on the other side of the den mouth as the couple. Head turned to sidelong look at them once more but she felt like an intruder. Soon she had to look away and body turned as hurt woman began to move away, wishing she had never entered the scene.
Zodiak. Upon finally reaching the den he collapsed, gasping for breath. The pain in his side was throbbing and overwhelming. He'd pushed it too far, it was healing well but he overexerted. Gaze would shift to cort and all regret faded. It was worth it, to help his brother; his Amigo. Rising slowly, he'd move to the dog to plant a gentle lick to his cheek, "it'll be ok..." muzzle pressed into his fur "...amigo..." God he was emotional. He'd witnessed new life and seen such fragile things struck down all in one go. Not to mention the emotional roller coaster he'd gone on with vad. The words still echoed in his ear. Vads words signaled the release of a sigh followed by a nod and moving of body to the den. It'd been a little bit since he left nida in there maybe he'd go take a nap and comfort her. So in to the den he went, rushing to his little fam and nestling in to them for some much needed quiet time. He was restless though, thoughts worrying over cortes and after much stirring he decided to go check on his fallen brother. The pain in his side had subsided so movement took much less effort as he slowly made his way back out. Blinking through the light gaze first noticed retreating smug looking rather upset. Head tilted and gaze twisted to see...OH....MY....GOD... WTF?!! Lip curled up over his fangs and a heavy, gurgled growl slowly rapped up his throat. This was it, he had to endure so much pain so much HEARTBREAK and for what?!!! SO THEY COULD FUCK?!!! RAGEMODE!!! Before he acted out, he rushed to smugs side, curving round her front to stop her tracks. "No. " He noticed the food she'd worked hard to get and that raged him even more. "Our efforts wont be made a mockery" he growled lowly, muzzle rubbing against her cheek before turning toward the humpfest. He moved to quickly close distance, picking up speed with each stride. A heavy booming bark escaped him as he closed in, not stopping, "YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" Body would aim to slam into the two, Mostly vad, broad side as jaws sought to clamp the side of his neck. All the shit they'd gone through to serve the tsars, all the pain and struggle, So they could do this?!!! NO FUCK THAT SHIT!
Cinnema had never felt this kind of love. Devotion. Care. Joy. It was always happiness, trust that turned out to be misplaced. And heartbreak to follow. This time it had been the same, or so she'd thought. She'd been rejected, pushed aside. Cast out of his heart before he'd upped and disappeared. It had left her broken, despaired, empty, when she had realized he was gone. She had been left with nothing. And now.. He was back, and he was still her everything. Even though he'd left her. He was doting and considerate and she craved it just as much as she had his abuse before she'd gone and spilled her feelings. It was different, though. Had going away changed how he treated her? Had a change of heart? She didn't care. In her mind it was him and that was all that mattered. As Vad-Drak shifted to begin humping, it was all she could do to quit squirming with the pleasure of it. Such bliss. And the sweet nothings and caresses were not helping. She enjoyed every second of attention and love. Cinnema was trying to soak it all in when noise reached her ears and she shifted her head to spy Smug staring. Quite hard. With flickering emotions across her face, along with the rainbow of colors that seemed to come with. Why hey there baby! Cin's green eyes narrowed, even as the world spun, her lip curling and giving off a raging snarl. Drak is MINE. YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM. FUCK OFF. But she was so high on the shrooms and confused that it ended up being cut short, likely because she was distracted by Vad-Drak's attentions, that when she looked back Smug was an attractive shade of silver and blue. And she grinned slowly at the female, even if she was trying to turn away. You want me next? Huh bby? I got more for you.. OH HEY LOOK another form appeared, distorted by the lust in her gaze. She couldn't make out what he was saying, having gone back to nibble on Vad-Drak's cheek with tender love. What did it matter the onlookers were saying? It didn't! Until, a second later. WHAT THE FUCK. A growl and whine came from her throat at the same time as Zod charged them and shoved them over, eyesight going absolutely crazy. She couldn't tell what was going on but that she was SO PISSED. Her lover was knocked away from her burning loins and she was sent sprawling. Everything was whirling about, and when she finally did get purchase on the ground. The world was a pleasant haze of red, and she only had eyes for Zodiak. THAT LITTLE SHIT. HOW FUCKING DARE HE. She charged with malicious snaps out in the air, except. Moments later. The form she had been focused on vanished. It had been an illusion! She tripped over her own paws to realize he'd vanished, like a phantom in the night. WTF. She rolled for a moment in the dirt before she shook and stood on unsteady paws. She looked around only to find her vision clearing minus the colors, and Drakov was nowhere to be found. Instead replaced with Vad?! She was so confused and her head was pounding. Still under the influence of the shrooms she stumbled sideways and let out a high pitched whine of confusion, eyes wide. Her pupils were quite obviously dialated, surely they could figure out she wasn't thinking straight. What was going on? She sat and cried for a moment, everything switching colors so quickly, that she couldn't figure out what was happening.. WHERE DID HER LOVER GO?!
Yusef had not found Drak. He'd searched, he'd looked, but he hadn't. And he felt horrible still. Well, Vad had tried to share Zod's little newborn with him, and really, he WANTED to eat it, but he just...wasn't hungry. So he'd buried it alive under his favorite dead tree, and patted the dirt down so he could go and nibble the popper later. Either way, he hobbled back home, only to see...Zod attacking Vad and Cin?! He didn't exactly know what was going on but FUCK YOU TRYING TO ATTACK MY DADDY. He rushed forward towards Zod suddenly, jaws wide and parted as he aimed to slam their bodies together, aiming to sink his teeth into any flesh he could reach, practically moving to leap onto the tan brute's back to tear at him like a velociraptor. WAR CRY! And you know, now that he was much, much older....It wasn't so 'cute' anymore.
Vadimir really aught to have realized by now. That this wasn't his brother. I mean. Couldn't he tell his wee wee was in a vagina, and not a butthole?! But no, shrooms apparently could make even real life conform to deepest desires. "Brat...." He'd coo, smiling dreamily. If only they could stay like this, forever... nothing ever to come between them again. Focus, if you can even call it that. Was broken when Cinn-Drak diverted her attention to Smug, causing him to turn as well. Now, it was puzzling how to react... on the one hand, some part of him felt like he should have the sensation of being caught with his pants down. Like OSHITNOOO. But... when he tried to figure out why. The reasoning wouldn't come to him. Nope... he was too happy to think anything could be wrong with the world, or his actions. He'd turn back to his love, growling affectionately as he nipped at her ear. "Don't vorry about zem... focuz on me.." He'd whisper playfully into Cinn-Drak's ear, aiming to envelope himself into their embrace once more. But before he could snug her, Zod came in like a wrecking ball yet again, screaming ire that he couldn't comprehend WHAT?!?! Vadimir went flying, completely unprepared for the assault. He rolled to a stop, which caused him to yelp as pain flared all over. Oww ow ow ow ow! When eyes fell onto the newly christened father, his expression became one of utmost outrage. "Ze fuck Zod?!" Cinn-Drak retaliating and falling flat was barely noticed. Must be the sore bum from the sex. Mhmm. "You have your mate und children! I've only ever had mine brozer!" He bellowed, standing upright with some evident struggle. "UND DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO TAKE HIM FROM ME!" He was about to lunge for Zod, only to find a 6 foot tall Yusef come in like Batman. Holy-- And then Cinn's piercing whines and lamentations hit his ears, and it was like the song of an angel breaking the devil's curse. The colors remained, but everyone... became everyone. "Vo..." He began, but he couldn't make out the words. He looked around wildly, seeing Smug, Zod and Yus, (now normal size) And... Cinn. But no Drak. what happened?! How had --"Oh, no..." He gasped under his breath, spying one of the mushrooms. That's right... foggy, disjointed, and broken as they were. He vaguely recalled eating them. Which meant... "EVERYONE, ZTOP!" He'd roar at the top of his lungs, and if he managed to get their attention, he'd... look around once before lurching forward and puking. Cause that's what happens when you imbibe too much!! But really it was because he just wanted to die on the spot. "It," He began, breathless. "It vaz a mistake... ze shroomz... zey..." He couldn't even look at them. All he wanted to do was run and hide. He wasn't sure what was worse.... knowing what had really happened... or having wished that it had been real.
Smug was taken by surprise as Zod came up under her chin and brushed along her then nuzzled her cheek. She had been to preoccupied with her own mishmash of emotions to notice his entrance. Woman didn't quite understand the meaning of his words before he was off charging. Mockery? Was Vad mocking her? The thought sent stabbing ice through her chest and frostiness crept into her features as she swung to watch. Muscles tensed and paws brought body forward, but she held back the urge to join the fray. She didn't want to piss Cinn off any further, nor did she want to touch Vad. The ass. Then Yus came flying past her vision and tackled Zod. What the hell was going on?! She was too confused to do much at the moment besides switch gaze back and forth between the three, each seeming to be fighting a different battle from the rest. Why was Vad talking about Drak?! And why was Cinn tripping all over herself chasing after nothing? Vad's roar brought her attention to him, gaze narrowing. Body jumped back a step as vomit spewed from the pale bastard's mouth and splattered across the ground. Eugh. Nose wrinkled in disgust as she flicked gaze back up at his face while he tried to continue talking. Snarl ripped through her chest and she leaped forward, not caring if paws touched the mess. "A mistake?!" Teeth would aim to clamp around his maw and force his head down while low growling formed. Her eye would stare into his fiercely if she had succeeded, pouring all of her anger and spite and hurt into that look before releasing him and turning her back. Even if she hadn't landed the hold, Smug would turn away and head over to her 5 meals. "I think I am going to leave," she said through clenched teeth, sides heaving as she breathed heavily in attempts to plug the torrent of emotions flowing from her. Her limbs shook slightly as she snapped up a crow into her maw and began to walk away. Fuck this pack man. Fuck Vad. Giving her the emotions and hope, then just throwing it all away with no second thoughts.
Zodiak was beyond done, too many events leading to this moment. Nothing mattered in his blind rage, like a fight dog unchained he was taking it out on whatever stood in his way. Logical thought was out the door. Body slammed into the two sexing lovers and he roared out like some rabid dog, turning on cin to retaliate only to find she pretty much had all that under control. He'd stand there for more than a second, staring and a little confused before turning his attentions on vad. His words made no sense, forcing even more growls to surge up his throat, "YOUR BROTHER???!!!!" he roared at him, wanting to lunge forward and tear into his face, but something drew his attention. Raging bull turned just as yusef came flying in like some rogue bat. THE FUCK MAN!? More roaring snarls bubbled in his gut to roll steadily up and out as he braced the impact and felt the pain surge across his side. As yus landed on his back he'd rear up some, front limbs striking out as neck curved to have jaws meeting with the youngun's shoulder as he was clamped down on his neck. Bite wasn't even plausible as balance shifted and zod drifted back, body moving to collapse over top the kid. If the land was uninterrupted, he'd hit with an 'oof' that trailed into more growls as body scrambled to gain ground. Vad's words echoed through his ears but were un-registered. Blind rage had him out for blood and it was yus' turn. UNGRATEFUL LITTLE HEATHEN!!! If any ounce of footing was gained he'd lunge himself in whatever direction yus was, jaws aiming to clamp down over his muzzle. If he missed, it'd be his face; cheek, nose, lips, idgaf. He'd take his anger for losing his pups out on one of theirs.
Cinnema shifted, as her world seemingly fell apart just to put itself back together again in different colors. Obscene whine came from her throat only for Vad to call out quite loudly for the chaos to stop. Why were people attacking each other? What was going on?! WHERE WAS DRAKOV?!?! HE HAD DISAPPEARED. And instead, Vadimir was here and so was Yusef, running up in a shade of green to attack Zod. Why was he attacking in the first place? Why Vad? What was he talking about? And even despite the pink Tsar's words, the scuffle continued! Why? She whined further. So much confusion. So much of a mess. Ears flicked forward when Smug walked up to Vad in an attempt on him, and she took a few swaying steps forward. NO, YOU'RE OVERSTEPPING BOUNDARIES. But she was still confused. Wait, leaving? What? They were family! Family doesn't leave family! Not another one to leave her! Smug was still swirling in rainbow colors as Cin stumbled after her in a rush, slipping forward and almost sprawling out. Cinnema's teeth would flash out to try to grasp something, her tail, her leg, as she attempted to steady herself. She was starting to sob again. Ugly tears and noises. "N-no, don't leave," she sputtered, big round eyes looking up at her and pleading. She shook some more as she had been earlier. So emotional on shrooms, tsk tsk. "I-I need you.. Don't leave, t-this is fami-ily.." Clinging with everything to catch Smug's attention and get her to stay, she finally found her paws and replaced them under her again. "D-Drak's gone already.. n-not you to-oo.." It was getting harder to focus, now, but she was trying!! Even ignoring poor fight going on. They weren't walking away.. Walking away wasn't allowed.. Noo pls stay bby..
Yusef's war cry only grew louder and more violent as Zod tried to rear back and crush him beneath, but he simply wrapped his forelimbs around Zod's neck and shoulders and began violently, harshly, ripping and tearing at whatever flesh he could reach. Vad's roared command, however, reached him, though clearly it did not reach Zod. Yus himself moved to roll out from beneath Zod, but his expression was horrifically blank. Somber. He huffed, spitting out a mouthful of blood before turning, without a word, to walk away. Fuck you. Fuck all of you. Especially you and you and you. Shoulda eaten your little shit when I got the chance. He was silent, wordless, simply giving a cold, blank stare, before limping out. Why the fuck was he even back if everything was so broken?
Vadimir sat there for a moment like. This is all my fault. I did this. All he'd wanted was to try and FIX things... but instead he'd fucked it all up. Royally. He gingerly rose to a stand, the pain unbearable. But was it physical, or emotional? Fuck if he knew anymore. All he could see was Cinn having a breakdown while her nose swelled to the size of a boulder and three Yusef's departing from a magenta Zod. JESUS. "Yusef, vait!" He called weakly, dazed. The world was spinning and he felt like he was going to hurl all over again. "Pleaze, v--" Surprised growl left his maw as Smug came to bite down on the top half of his muzzle. Her glare made him tremble, and all he could do was silently plead, before saying in a defeated undertone, "Remember Monro... ze shroomz," He begged her to remember, his voice still a loose sob as emotions were on high voltage. He still had no self control... "Pleaze Smug... I didn't vant zis to happen!" He'd call after her as she turned and began to depart. "I did zis becauze I vanted to know vot I'd done wrong... vot you all vere feelink.." Welp, first came food vomit. Next came word vomit. And both equally burned his throat. He didn't know who to go after! It seemed like everyone was upset at him. He continued toward Yus and Zod, looking toward the latter with a hurt expression. He'd done what he'd had to... he didn't even know what to say. He'd done what he'd never done before... he'd said words he could never take back. And yet Zod still hated him. Or at least, that's how his teen angsty self registered it. Cinn, who now bore extra limbs... was whining, crying, reaching for Smug. "Cinn...." He'd say, voice muffled. What to do? What could he do to salvage this?? HE JUST DIDN'T KNOW. "I'm zorry..." He began, voice barely above a whisper, then, "I'm Zorry!" Somehow, with shrooms on board. Saying words that'd usually make him want to commit suicide... only just made him wanna retch. Which is just what he did. "RRRREEEEEURUHGBJFGJNTREDDNJFKGRTHNJYTREHURRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!" Cue awkward moment wherein Tsar just made bizarre noises while dry heaving in the middle of a family crisis.....
Smug paused after letting go of his muzzle, allowing his words to reach her. Lip curled up at him in a cold look before she spun away to grab her food. At least she was leaving the other four carcasses for them. Before she'd uttered her leaving words, "You got high and fucked Cin to figure out what I WAS FEELING?!" How in the hell did that make sense, even to him. Icy stare cold enough to freeze hell over glared at him. "It's fine, she is the Tsaritsa and I am but a Sluzhit. I am nothing to you." Her face turned blank and voice had calmed to remain level and emotionless, matching the new look in her eyes. Her leaving words were delivered but before she could snag her meal and beat her retreat, Conn called out to her. "You don't need me. You don't even know me." Gaze flicked back to Vad a moment as he spewed out apologies. Smug was beyond the point of apologies, having locked all her emotions away in her carefully constructed prison of a heart so as not to hurt anymore. What the hell was with everyone? Smug swore she was never EVER going to touch shrooms, or anything that remotely resembled those evil fungi. The pale duo had enough to deal with at the moment, what with Zod also having a breakdown and Yusef. There was no place for her there in that clearing at that moment. She figured they were just spewing shit to get her to stay, none of it actually being meant. She was just an object after all, to be used for hunting and sex and whatever else. Did everyone see her that way? Were they indeed just like the vile two-leggeds? Seemed that way. "You can have the others as a gift," woman said before grabbing her crow and heading to the edge of the courtyard.
Zodiak snarled as his frame reared back, for a moment resembling some wolf-horse creature with deranged rider tearing up his neck. Snarls turned gurgled at the action and body plummeted down heavily on his bad side. A loud yelp squealed its way out of him and as quickly as he tried to lunge himself at the retreating yusef, his body too was fed up. Mid-launch limbs would give out in a reflex to pain and he'd collapse to his belly with a snarl. Frustrated barks being set at Yus' backside. COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME!!! He struggled to all fours and paused at the scene as it all unfolded before him. Red curtains lifted from his vision to see the emotional drama unfolding as cin left a trail of ugly tears behind smug and vad seemingly the same before trying to hack up a lung. Chest heaved in and out as heavy huffing breaths slowly returned heart rate to an acceptable pace. Widened eye stared off as he composed himself to approach vadi. He didn't want smug to go but it wasn't his place to stop her, he had no idea what had conspired between all of them. Nearing vad his lips would curl and a low growl rumbled, jaws moved to grasp the side of his neck. His grip was full of anger and pain as he growled into the tsars fur, ignoring the heaving spells. He urged himself to bite down harder, Take it out on the tsar...but he couldn't. Grip loosened and growl was replaced with a whine, long and painful as body pushed forward to press forehead into the tsars neck. "va--" his voice cracked, unstable cords not prepared for words "I...I don't know what to do..." more whines and whimpers as he pressed in closer, rump lowering to the dirt while head leaned into the tsar to bury face in his fluff.
Cinnema didn't know what to do, she just kept whining and everyone was being upset and fighting and WHINE. First instinct was to go after the one leaving.. No one should leave in her opinion.. She was so hyped up, she was desperate. For everyone to be happy, and stay together, etc etc. But she was being denied, even as she was begging and sputtering and trying to talk through tears! Why was everyone yelling and ignoring her? She sniffed and hiccuped as she was rejected and turned away, wide eyes brimmed with tears and watching Smug walk away. Only for her head to turn to see Vad looking so hopeless and still so open. It was breaking her heart, to see him like that. He wanted to be loved too! Just like her! Perhaps Yusef, too, who was walking away from them! They just all wanted to be loved.. Still simpering but not all too much, Cin wobbled over to Vad, surprisingly avoiding tripping over Zod or stepping in Tsar's vomit. Her head would find itself pressed into his chest, shoulders just slumping with defeat and abuse. Abuse from what, who knew, but she was sure feeling some sort of way from these shrooms. "If it helps.. I lo-ove you.. Vadi," she blubbered, less tears now but still her voice was still awful. Just a moment to get her balance back and she was turning to a mixed up Zod, leaning against him for a moment too. "You're all..so importa-ant.. Don't leave.." She was tired, was probably the only reason she wasn't sobbing like a maniac still. She didn't know how to process any of this. Mind was blurring and so were the colors despite more clear gaze, and she stumbled a few paces away to the rock wall of the den. Her side resting against it before she slid down to her stomach with bleary gaze and promptly passed out. She wouldn't remember a thing come morning, but at least. At least they had sorted through some of their feelings! That had to count for something, right?! Headache would come but depression wouldn't linger after this episode.
Yusef HAD been leaving, but Vad's pathetic cry for him to wait, followed by his mothers' soft simpering and Zod's whined apologies and Smug's outright emotional confusion left him just as confused. He wrinkled his nose but turned around, pushing against Smug lightly--they'd never actually spoken, but he could understand her pain and confusion right now. But he finally headed back to his parents..and Zod... and with a heavy, deep sigh, shifted and licked each one of them. He had to be strong now. Everybody else was broken, and so was he, but SOMEONE had to remain strong right now. "...I vill vatch zee den. .....Everybody should get some sleep." good god.
Vadimir cringed at Smug's scathing retort, but he was unable to figure what to say in return. It was true, she wasn't "special" to him. They indeed barely knew each other. But saying that she didn't matter in the slightest, was offensive even to him. "Zat izn't true..." He murmured, but he'd not pursue her anymore. She... needed time to cool off. To be alone and figure herself out. Hell if they didn't all need that! He looked to Cinn, frowning. He could understand why Smug was so pissed at him. But really, why be so cruel to Cinn? She hadn't done anything wrong! The shrooms had really gone above and beyond the expectations of duty. He was worrying about everyone's else's feelings, being honest about his own. And speaking with reservation and open vulnerability. All while puking his guts out. Progress? I THINK SO. Zod approaching instantly had the Tsar on guard, ears and lower end stiff and firmly on the ground... what was this about. Pained yip left him when Zod bit down on him. Was the shrooms making him more sensitive, or was it his feelings? FUCK IF HE KNEW. Vadimir would turn away from Zod, lip trembling. "Juzt zay you hate me..." He'd mutter darkly, pulling away, or at least trying to. Much like Smug, he didn't want to be lied to. To be given hope, only to have it crushed and burned before his eyes. But then Zod's bite turned gentle, and his angry tones became insecure. Goddamn what do even. "Und you zink I know? I tried to make zingz better... und look vot happened!" Smug was even MORE hurt than before, Zod was in a ragefit, Cinn was a puddle of tears and Yus was poker facing while hurting on the inside. Yep, dandy job he'd done at trying to fix shit. "I juzt... vanted to make zings better...." Cinn's approach and declaration of love, had Vad retch again. But not in a bad way just... he didn't know how to respond positively to it! "....Me, too..." He struggled to say it as the shrooms gradually began to wear off. OHNO. Quick, he had to say what was on his mind before he became a tight-lipped asshole again! "Yusef," He'd say, wrapping a forearm around Zod like DONCHU GO ANYWHERE BITCH. I ain't done wit chu. He'd return his son's lick, putting as much feeling into it as he could. "I never believed zat I vould be a fazer, much lezz a gud von. I know I haven't raized you vith ze love you vanted, and you dezerve zo much more zan I've been able to give." HRK. He'd swallow back another stomach spasm. You're almost there Vad, YOU KIN DO EET!!! "I vant you to know, zat no matter vat I zay or do later. Zat I..." Deep breath. "I love you, und I am zo proud to call you my zon. I... I cherish ze day you vere born." ERR ERR ERR ERR!! OVERLOAD OF FEELS. ABORT ABORT! Vad burried his head into Zod as both Cinn and Yus departed, sobbing brokenly. "I juzt don't vant.... to loze..." Head would sag against Zod's chest, anatomy caving in on itself. "My...." He'd slump to the ground, right into the puddle of vomit. "Family...." OINK.
Smug had another surprise in the form of Yusef brushing against her in a..comforting manner? What was that? This caused woman to pause, listening to their words though keeping head faced to the trees. Cinn's declaration of love and Vad returning the words caused her eye to steel even more. See.... they don't need her. She tried to move, to continue forward but she was afraid that if even a single muscle was budged, she would crumble and break. All she wanted was to be wanted, to be seen as an equal and an admirable individual. To be....loved. She had fought tooth and nail for this pack, saved lives even, and did as she was asked. She knew her rank within Vechnyy would never be equal to theirs, but at least as an individual she had hoped to be. She had come so close to getting something of the sort with Vad... but she didn't even believe that anymore. She had no idea of the connection he had also felt since she had never really been with another besides Cron. This was a clusterfuck of a family. Smug had also never known family, and it wasn't at all like she had imagined. Part of her longed to return to her cage and her fighting ring... everything was just so simple there. She knew what to do at all times and did it. This whole feelings thing was shit and she wanted nothing to do with it anymore. Head turned part ways to sidelong glance at them. They were all mushed together like a big ole happy family. They would be fine. She had to say that to herself to stop from heading back and picking Vad up out of that pile of vomit he was laying in. He seemed so broken and even now all Smug wanted to do was pick up the pieces and put him back together again. It was a daunting task though, and one she was pretty sure she couldn't do. SIGH. After a long pause, body turned and she made her way back to the pile of carcasses she had gathered and dropped her crow on top. A hesitant glance was given to the pale bastard before the earthen woman padded over and stood over top of him. "You look pathetic lying in your own vomit," she said neutrally before a sigh passed through lips. "Others shouldn't see you like this... C'mon, lets get you up." Smug would then proceed to press head to his chest and try and get him up if he hadn't protested. If she succeeded, blank woman would help the Tsar a ways away before settling him back down and beginning to clean the nasty clinging to his fur. It was disgusting but she did it anyways.
Zodiak broke down, all the emotions were too much for one wolf. Anger and hatred, love, passion, just stop! He was pressed into vad using him like a toddler with a security blanket. "You...always know..." he whimpered like a pup "you've always been there....i-i'm sorry" whine whimper "I---i--I love you--" the words trailed into a final whine of defeat. Then cin swooped in with her blubbering. It didn't bother him, he knew everyone was hurting in their own way. Especially with drak still missing. It seemed like the pack was falling apart, and in this moment they were all realizing they needed each other. Cins touch surprised him and he leaned back into her before she departed from sight. Then there was a lick, and he pulled his head away expecting nida but instead found yusef. "yu..." he was confused and overwhelmed with emotion. A lick would be given to his muzzle before looking back to vad. His words to yus were touching, and pulled at every fiber of his heart. Is that what it meant to be a dad?! He had no idea the tsar felt that way. A giant lump wadded up in his throat just as vad pressed into him. Zod shook his head "no...I'll never leave" He nuzzled into him before he collapsed in his own vomit. Zod stood and nudged him gently, gaze turning to smug as she approached. He let her have her words free of objection. She deserved that much. While she moved to lift him, Zod lended assistance with pushing his own head under the tsars side to help encourage him to his feet. Once they were set, he'd stumble slightly before looking to smug, a faint wag of his tail, "Thank you..." he said quietly before turning from them to head into the den.
Solveig's nose wrinkled at the strong scent of vomit that wafted around the courtyard as she meandered into sight of the goings on. What..? Her vibrant green eyes swept the gathering, noting the vomit and the fact that Vad was just kinda chillin' in it. Or so it seemed to her. Her jaw worked slightly, adjusting her bite on the fat raccoon that hung limply from her mouth before her paws skirted her around the occupied wolves to carry her downwind of the puke stench. Finding a good enough spot, Sol would lay onto her belly and shove the chunky raccoon off to the side. Not hungry at the moment, for she'd munched the carrion of a fawn whilst out on her hunt. Whatever had happened here, it seemed things were winding down now. Her late night habits gave her little socialization.
Yusef's expression finally changed, however slight it may have been. He watched the family huddle together, curling up, nuzzling, hugging, trying to support each other even though they were all falling apart themselves. Even Smug came back from her land of violence to help support. He leaned down to assist in the lifting and freeing of the vomit, before those words actually registered in his head. He was loved? ..Vad was...proud of him? He was worthy? A soft whine almost left him then, but he clamped it down and squared his jaw, straightening himself out and helping heave the tsar up. "......I love you too, daddy." he murmured, finally. And onward the little broken soldiers went! They may have been ruined, fucked up, dirty, sensual, horribly destroyed and twisted little fuckers..but Vechnyy was a family.
Vadimir's vision and senses flickered as he struggled to keep himself privy to the goings on above him. Ugh... the shrooms sure did take their sweet time wearing off... but once they did. The after affects were KILLER. He groaned, turning when Smug stood over him. He managed a weak smile. "Und you are a stubborn voman who doezn't take shit from anyvon... but you don't hear me complainink." It came as a surprise, when it really aught not to. When nigh everyone present (save for Cinn cuz c'mon gurl was tiiired) helped to get him back onto his feet. Zod's return of affection made dual toned eyes glimmer, as did Yus's. It wasn't often Vad felt humble, but.... he'd give a slight nod in recognition to both of them, allowing himself to be lead to their designated cuddle spot. Smug's attentions were met with initial reluctance, but after some fussing he'd eventually chill and just let it happen.... seemed to be a theme with them, eh? "I really... didn't mean for any of zat to happen..." He'd say ruefully, curling into her as fatigue took its toll. Eyes would wander toward Solv, with the fat, plump raccoon. He wasn't tired of the bear meat, mind. but... damn that looked really good after barfing like a madman. "Solv... zave... zat burger for me, vill you..." Wait, did he just say burger? "Hnnnnng...." And with that, Vadimir was out like a light. Dreaming of.... surprisingly. Happy things.
Smug had to struggle to keep her face straight at his retort and failed. Such a small comment helped thaw some of the iciness clutching her. "Damn straight," she replied with a crooked smile. She was happy to have Zod and Yus help the Tsar to his feet and lay him down out of the puke pile of nasty. Woman nodded to Zod as he thanked her, though she wasn't quite sure why he was doing it. Woman settled to the side of the male that was unoccupied and began to clean the wretched gunk out of his pale fur. She noticed his tense muscles but did not hold it against him given their recent interactions - aka fighting. Her own body relaxed as his did but she paused in her cleaning a moment at his words. Another sigh slipped through her lips and she raised her head to meet his gaze. Her olive eyes searched his cotton candies, flicking back and forth between them. "Okay," she said after much hesitation before dropping her gaze almost shyly. She continued to rid the fur of the bile as he addressed Sol, claimed her meal, then curled around her. Eyes widened in surprise as he shifted to press against her and she had to work hard to clamp down on the fuzzy feeling that was easing the pain of the ache. Soon he was asleep and fairly clean, enough so that her nose didn't wrinkle constantly being near him. Lifting head, she gazed down at the pale bastard before tongue poked out to touch his cheek gingerly. As soon as she realized what she had done, head shot up to see if anyone else had seen. She was not a flowers kind of gal... Attention finally turned to the one called Solv whom Smug had yet to meet. "Solv is it? I'm Smug." Her face had returned to its more natural and comfortable nonchalant visage by then but body leaned into the Tsar's ever so slightly.
Solveig's attention turned to the vomit-covered Tsar, a tight nod given when he addressed her. One paw reached out to drag the raccoon back toward herself. She would place the critter between her forelegs and rested her chin on it as if it were a pillow. In fact...it was a very nice one. Her ears perked and tilted toward the dark female that Vad had curled around, head lifting again so she could speak with ease. "Solveig, actually, but feel free to call me Solv." Sol..Solv...call her whichever you will just don't call her late for dinner! "You are..?" she asked with mild curiosity, one paw lifting to drape lazily over the fluff of the raccoon. Of course, the question nagged to be asked...what had happened here? But she supposed they should get the niceties out of the way first before she went being all nosy.
Smug's own gaze went to her pile of 3 rabbits and 2 crows laying forgotten by the den entrance as Solv's possessiveness of her own kill reminded her about them. Gaze flicked to the Tsar sleeping peacefully - for once - beside her and she decided it wasn't worth it to go fetch the larger crow. She did not want to break the peace, not after the tumultuous day they'd had. It certainly would have helped rid the taste of Vad's bile from her tongue... Man her breath must have been rancid at that moment. A dip of the chin was offered in salutations as the other woman introduced herself. "Have you been with the pack long?" she inquired, curious as to how long they had been pack mates and yet hadn't spoken. There were quite a few Smug had yet to meet even though she had been with them for quite a long time now. Wow... it truly had been a surprising amount of moons. Almost half a year! Cray cray.
Solveig's tongue peeked out to touch her lips in thought at Smug's question. How long had it been? Not too long..about..."Not long before that one got pregnant." she said, tilting her head in the general direction of Nida. Of course, she didn't know that female's name but she did know that of her mate, Zodi. That was all she knew of him, anyway. Solveig wasn't close to anyone here, yet. Had barely made acquaintences let alone something of a friend. She couldn't help the feeling of being so out of the loop, so in the background, though it was her own fault for always being out and about. "So..mind my asking what happened?" the female queried with a subtle tilt of her head.
Smug nodded her head at the woman's answer. The bulk of Solv's time here Smug had spent avoiding the others, or bear fighting. Sigh. "Nida is her name." Her voice was neutral, merely providing information. Earthen-toned woman knew what it felt like to feel out of the loop around here. She was a woman that typically preferred her privacy and long walks and exercising alone during the nights of serenity. Her face grew a little more somber at the next question and there was a slight reluctance to her words. "There was some confusion, a squabble, and... well... just stay away from shrooms." A small smile was offered at the last words as she shook her head in jest although indeed they had wrought a lot of damage within the pack.
Solveig's ears perked curiously, though her face remained impassive. Did Sol even know how to smile? Who knows. Shrooms, eh? Mushrooms, no doubt. "I'll take your advice." She said as she settled her head on the makeshift pillow and shifted to kick her hind legs out to the side. Smug was a pretty agreeable female and Sol was finding herself comfortable in her company..even if her own resting bitchface made it hard to tell. The female struggled to suppress a yawn, eyes squinting a moment as she lost miserably and her jaws parted. When her jaws met again she would sigh out softly and lick at her whiskers as she shifted again in mild discomfort. It was that time for her, but with it being very early on her attracting scent was faint yet. "I'm sorry, Smug, but I need to get some sleep. Wouldn't mind talking to you again, though. Maybe a hunt sometime." she would suggest.
Smug's attention turned to gaze about the territory and pass over the sleeping bodies present. There was Cinn over by the den, passed the fuck out, and Yusef on the other side of Vad. She could also make out the form of Cort, breathing deeply as he received some much needed rest. Her hunt had proved fruitful and she would have to offer him one of the catches. Eyes shifted back to the woman as she yawned which spurred a yawn to battle its way onto her own face in return. "I should sleep too. It was a pleasure," she said then proceeded to nod at the suggestion of a hunt. That sounded mighty fine indeed. Head then lowered to rest upon her forelegs, eerily close to the Tsar's but where else was she going to put it. Heavy lids finally closed the curtains over olive eyes and Smug drifted into a dreamless sleep. |
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